A (Very Incomplete) Snapshot of Male Privilege
It's worthwhile to regularly visit the issue of privilege––especially one's own privilege. So, here's a (very incomplete) list of characteristics commonly associated with male privilege (from Sam Killerman, A Guide to Gender: The Social Justice Advocates Handbook):
- If you are unable to succeed in your career, that won't be seen as evidence against your gender in the workplace.
- A decision to hire you won't be based on whether the employee assumes you will be having children in the near future.
- You can decide not to have children and not have your masculinity questioned.
- If you choose to have children, you will be praised for caring for you children instead of being expected to be the full-time caretaker.
- If you are straight and decide to have children with your partner, you can assume this will not affect your career.
- You can seek political office without fear of your relationship with your children, or whom you hire to take care of them, being scrutinized by the press.
- You can generally work comfortably (or walk down a public street) without the fear of sexual harassment.
- You can balance a career and a family without being called selfish for not staying at home (or being constantly pressured to stay at home).
- You can ask for the "person in charge" and will likely be greeted by a member of your gender.
- You can spend time on your appearance without being criticized for upholding unhealthy gender norms.
- You can have promiscuous sex and be viewed positively for it.
- Colloquial phrases and conventional language reflect your gender (e.g., mailman, "all men are created equal").
- You can disregard your appearance [or show little regard for it] without worrying about being criticized at work or in social situations.
- Most political representatives share your gender, particularly the higher-ups.
Here are a few I would add:
15. You can negotiate your salary with an employer without experiencing adverse consequences (e.g., without being thought of as unpleasant or hard to work with, without appearing disagreeable, etc. See Iris Bohnet's, What Works: Gender Equality by Design, for more on the impact of salary negotiations on women).
16. For a variety of careers (e.g., politics, higher education, business, law), you can manifest the traditional qualities associated with your gender without fear that it will make you appear less competent for the job.
17. You can regularly speak your mind without being perceived as "combative" or disagreeable.
18. You can agree that your area of work would benefit from greater feminization without being counted on as the one to manifest traditional feminine qualities (e.g., compassion, gentleness, communality).
19. In heterosexual dating relationships, you can generally set the pace, initiate the relationship, assume responsibility of taking things to the next level (e.g., engagement) without being thought of as domineering or weird.
20. For heterosexuals on a date, you can talk openly and passionately about your ambitious career pursuits without worrying that your date will suspect you're too "independent" or too focused on yourself.
21. You can be (or can express interest in becoming) a stay-at-home parent without any members of your gender questioning your commitment to gender equality or without any members of your gender suspecting that you've merely been swayed by the Patriarchy.
Be curious. Be teachable. Be willing to play a loving role in reducing the adverse impact of your privilege.
20. For heterosexuals on a date, you can talk openly and passionately about your ambitious career pursuits without worrying that your date will suspect you're too "independent" or too focused on yourself.
21. You can be (or can express interest in becoming) a stay-at-home parent without any members of your gender questioning your commitment to gender equality or without any members of your gender suspecting that you've merely been swayed by the Patriarchy.
Be curious. Be teachable. Be willing to play a loving role in reducing the adverse impact of your privilege.
Don't overlook other people's success through your career. There are people out there who may be mediocre in their careers in positions but they are successful in having a good environment to share and help others. We all have the privilege of being special
ReplyDelete7. True, but you also generally work/walk down the street without the excitement of the possibility of experiencing the pleasure of (polite) sexual advances from the opposite sex. Vulnerability always allows for the possibility of harm. You cannot open yourself up to the pleasures in life without opening yourself up to the pain.
ReplyDelete8. And stay at home dads are often seen/portrayed as un-manly or un-masculine...
9. So what? How does it advantage a man to speak to another man in that scenario? Are there not advantages to being a woman in that scenario too? Statement at face value feels meaningless
10. But if changing your appearance ivolves creating a more masculine look, it is often seen as toxic/dangerous
11. True, but if you don't have sex at all you can be viewed negatively for it too, whereas if women don't have sex they aren't usually viewed negatively for it. Men often feel a pressure to become promiscuous to fit in.We're seeing a theme here: there are always two sides to the coin.
12. This is etymologically misleading. For example, the word "man" as in "mankind" is known to be synonymous with "humanity", not "males".
13. Well, fair enough I guess
14. Again, how is this an advantage at all? It's almost like you're assumming that men are inherently sexist and are going to treat men better than women. OK, fine, let's assume that, but then the same should apply to women too. Most psychologists are women, so how do you think an aspiring male psychologist would feel/be treated? The same would occur with nurses, and plenty of other vocations.
15. Well that's not true at all, if you're a man and you negotiate a salary with your employer you can certainly experience adverse consequences, if you preform poorly in the negotiation, or the employer treates you poorly for some extraneous reason, then adverse consequences will happen...
ReplyDelete16. OK , fair enough, but there will also be other vocations where manifesting traditional masculine qualities will make you appear less competent for the job (psychologist, nurse, etc)
17. But if you have a more introverted/shy temperament, then you will often be percieved as cowardly/ "womanish"
18. How on earth is this an instance of privilege? In what way specifically does this advantage a man? If their current vocation is suffering from a lack of femininity, then a man, especially a temperamentally masculine man, would be essentially powerless to change that... so they would be unable to improve their own life and the lives of those around them without help from someone else
19. This is as much as a privilege as it is a burden for men, and often men who are introverted/ more shy tempermentally (like myself) struggle with this burden and find a lot of suffering in it.
20. This is a bit anecdotal and vague, but I personally wouldn't think that about a woman I was exploring dating. It feels a bit archaic and I think a lot of young men, even more conservative men, nowadays probably don't think that way
21. But, as I mentioned before, this often creates a perception that you are neglecting your duties as a man to provide for the family, and also a perception that you are more "womanly" and less of a man. And, the idea that wanting to stay at home and spend time with your children is "patricarchal oppresion" is reprehensible. Spending time with children is one of the greatest sources of joy and meaning in life. I haven't had kids myself, but I have worked with kids as a camp couselor (and some other jobs) and I absolutely loved every minute of it! And moreover, the two genders are not equal. There are a myriad of phsyiological and psychological differences between males and females of every species, including humans. This has been well demonstrated scientifically.
"Be curious, be teachable..." No thanks, I'm not going to generate feelings of guilt within myself for being a man. It feels like all I hear nowadays is "listen... be teachable... consider your own privilege...". Instead of focusing on the negatives, why don't we focus on the positives? Why don't we encourage young people to work as hard as possible to manifest the greatest version of themselves, through their masculinity or femininity? Instead of spitting on our masculinity, why don't we manifest life-giving power through it?